Many people have a natural desire to help others and contribute to a better world. To feel empathy, to make a difference, to be a support to your loved ones or community - these are noble qualities. However, this desire to "save the world" can also have its weaknesses if not properly balanced with one's own needs and boundaries. If helping others is not balanced, it can lead to burnout, frustration, or a sense of disappointment when results don't materialize. It is also important to have the right motivation, because trying to "buy" love in this way, for example, will do more harm than good.
1. How to identify hopeless situations
One of the key skills that needs to be developed is to distinguish between situations where it makes sense to intervene and those where it is better to let things go. Helping can be effective, but it is not always our responsibility or within our power. Sometimes by trying to save others we prevent them from learning to stand on their own two feet. It is important to be able to recognize when we are truly helping and when others need to go through their own experience.
2. Energy vampires
In everyday life, we can meet so-called energy vampires - people who often complain but do not want to solve their problems in a real way. These people can be exhausting because they require constant attention and support from us, but their problems never really get better. The energy we give them in our (futile) efforts to help them is enough. For in helping, the energy must flow both ways. Someone has a problem. I help them, which gives them energy. They feel better, they thank me, they see the improvement - the energy comes back to me. If this exchange doesn't work, frustration sets in again, exhaustion sets in and things get worse rather than a real improvement.
3. When people just want to complain
Some people don't so much want help as they want to vent their feelings. In such situations, you may appear to be helping, but you are really just a listener. It is good to be aware of this situation. If you choose to stay in the situation, what is called active listening can be helpful. This means that one does not walk away or go for the "one ear in, one ear out" technique, but actually actively listens. That is, he or she is actively involved in the conversation, asks questions, and can help the speaker actively "talk himself or herself out of it."
4. Active listening as a protection
Active listening is not only about how to better help others, but also about how to protect ourselves. When you are fully present and focused on what the other person is saying, you can better sense when your help is really needed and when it is just an emotional outpouring that the other person needs to vent. It also allows you - with the help of appropriate questions - to keep the conversation a little more under control and direct it in a way that you are interested and get some energy back.
Conslusion
The desire to "save the world" is motivating, but it is important to remember that we cannot save everyone, and certainly not at the expense of our own health and well-being. Learning to set boundaries, recognizing when our help makes sense, and being able to protect ourselves from energy vampires is key to being able to help others in a long-term and meaningful way without exhaustion, frustration and manipulation.
